last day

haven't blogged the past few days because i was either shopping or sleeping. nonevents, since that's what i have been doing since i got here. tuesday was fun though, my father picked me up in four seasons and we went to his house in daly city. faye and francia brought me to the mall in serramonte and we got some kickass blingbling namebelts. after shopping, we stayed in the house and watched elektra together, me and my father's second family. i didn't feel like an outsider, they we're all warm and welcomey. my brother picked me up half past midnight.

that's about it, most days were spent for last minute shopping, making sure that all of the bilins are taken cared of. oh and kuya jr was kind enough to drive me to rache's place this morning and he treated us to breakfast at marie callender's.

haha. boo boo. we were talking in tagalog about the salad bar and how unattractive the arrangement was, like everything was thrown into a short stretch of broccoli grass. all snide comments within the earshot of the mexican waiter who was fixing the salad bar. much to our suprise he came to our table halfway through the meal and asked us how the food was, in tagalog! apparently he can speak and understand a bit (more like a lot) of tagalog because he also works in a magnolia factory and most of the employees there speak tagalog. he then went on talking about filipino food, pambobola, and of course, women. he was nice, really, and i appreciate the effort to make friends and practice his tagalog although he didn't know when to stop. hehehe. that would make you think twice now before opening your mouth and bashing stuff just because you think they won't understand. :p

.

6 more hours before our plane leaves for home. i must say this is also home, with my mom and my brother around. and probably, this is where i'll be in half a year. but right now, i'm excited (and just plain exhausted) and i can't wait to get back to my sunny yellow room in antipolo.

i guess this will be the end of starfishoutofwater, since i will be reunited with my sea again very soon. thank you pinole (and you for reading), it's been fun.

i might visit soon, wicked's coming in august. hasta luego.

kapatid

had dinner at the cheesecake factory with my dad, my four half-sibs, an my kuya jr. grabe we had to wait for more than an hour just to get seated. my dad lent us his credit card and told us (me, faye, and francia) to go shopping while they're waiting. it was such fun, bonding with my other two sisters. we all wished bebe was there, then there will be four of us bustos girls shopping for shoes.

afterwards, we went bowling in the yerba buena gardens. it was the bustos girls vs the bustos boys. dad just watched and ate mint lifesavers. walking back to the parking lot, we all wished bebe and kuya louie was there. then dad's kids would've been complete, all eight of us.
.

color me badd

alam mo ba yung boyband na yun? color me badd? bata pa ko nun eh. anyway, this isn't about that. i had my hair colored today. such fun.

skip

i skipped a day. actually, i wrote an entry for yesterday but then blogger went bonkers and i couldn't publish it. nothing monumental happened yesterday anyway (like most days). i just slept all day, watched head in the clouds and read wicked in between. the movie was pretty good, first movie i liked that has penelope in it. wicked was engrossing. i never liked fantasy novels but this one got me hooked.

early this morning while i was half asleep i concluded that i was the anti-thesis of a girly girl. thought i would blog it first thing when im fully awake but then i never got to writing it down because i had to take a bath and leave as soon as i got up.

this afternoon, i got my hair done. looks pretty, i think. bill says i look different. wait till i upload them pics. right now i'm too full and too lazy to do so. ha! i just realized, i actually contradicted my declaration this morning. girly girls like to get their hair done and i just did. argh.

but still. i was never a girly girl.

peeechor peechor!

sa whole foods..




perstaym ko lang makakain ng totoong raspberries. hehe.

...

kanina sa old navy there was this man, sabi niya sa kuya ko:

m: is she your girl? i must say, you are a very lucky man. she's very pretty.

k: she's my sister.

m: oh really? (turning to me) well, invite me to your wedding okay? i want to tell your husband that he's a very lucky man.

c: thank you. :)


oi jope, narinig mo yon? o, dahil alam kong miss na miss mo na ako:




nga pala, nakikita mo ba ang nakasulat sa building na ito? me kailangan ka atang bilhin jan. hehe.

the debut

i watched the debut lastnight. for more info about it, just click this link because i'm too lazy to write what it's about. when the movie started rolling i couldn't stop laughing because Ben (the lead actor) looked so much like Elmer. i had to check out the guy's name to make sure it wasn't him. haha.

but what's funnier is how i got kilig in the supposedly nakakakilig moments. hay, you should have seen me. it's like when i watched that hilary duff movie with rache. the scenes weren't really romantic at all, as in! but i just couldn't help but feel excited and inggit while watching. it's just really nakakakilig to watch two people who obviously like each other try to make moves and let the other person know about their feelings. i like watching people make a fool out of themselves, fumbling, fidgeting, saying the wrong words. i miss being kilig, i miss fishing out for clues whether he's into me or not. i miss days made perfect just because i saw him walk by. :)

.

the brotha man!

my kuya jr and i are so funny. when he got home lastnight at around 2am, he was holding a styro filled with chinese take out. for reasons i don't know, the styro flew out of his hands and a few nanoseconds later, it was on the floor. we stared at it for a couple of seconds more and then i said "malinis pa yan, kainin natin yung nasa taas!"

and so we did. hahahahaha.

we were laughing and eating and putting fried rice and meat that we scraped from the top part of the fallen take out. we kept laughing and eating and saying "ano ba to para tayong pulubi!" and then laugh again. hay, such fun.

after that, naawa na kuya ko sakin so we drove to jack in the box to get some food. sourdough jacks rule!

wicked

my brother couldn't give me this



so he got me this instead



.

i appreciate the gesture, thank you very much. :)

btw, they're taking wicked to SF in august and it will run till september. i might get to catch it after all. *wink*
.

here are the pickies i promised. :p

again and again and again

there goes my dream of flying alone. this morning they called PAL up and asked if i got in the same flight as theirs and voila! i'm not on the PR 115 flight nemore. PR 105, welcome me!

i should have known. things are never steady here.

in other news...

...we went to San Francisco yesterday to do the stuff that tourists do. we drove for three quarters of an hour to get to the palace of fine arts. it was damn freezing. but the lake was beautiful and there were swans and turtles and (regular and weird-looking) birds all over. the cherry blossoms were enchanting.

kuya jr and i kept guessing why the women on top of the pillars had their backs turned and were nakayuko on the boxlike thing. sabi ko kasi naglalaba sila. sabi niya, wala kasi silang bra at nahihiya biglang me dumating na turista kaya naghahanap ng bra doon sa box. heheh. you be the judge:



after that we went to the golden gate bridge but then by time we got there it started raining. kaya ayun, takbuhan kami to the giftshop. i managed to take pictures of me with the arches of the gate in the background using my phone, thinking i could upload it but then drat! i forgot the data suite encoder in the philippines.

went to this uber nice and classy restaurant, cliffhouse, for dinner but then we'd have to wait for an hour just to get seated so we went to this thai place instead. sarap ng pagkain! i ate my heart out because i love pad thai and peanut butter sauce. i shouldn't have because by the time we got home i had to go number two a couple of times and take diatabs. it screwed up my tummy.

i'll post pictures soon, once i get them from my kuya louie. yeah, i have a bad ass picture under this beautiful old thing. you would want to see that, won't you?

unsent: i miss you

I see your picture,
I smell your skin on the empty pillow next to mine.
You have only been gone ten days,
but already I'm wasting away.
I know I'll see you again whether far or soon.
But I need you to know that I care
and I miss you.


ten days today. longest so far, huh? i hope things are great in Miarayon, i bet you're nostalgic and in high spirits. i remember you saying (in that Guidon article that featured you) that you find God in Miarayon. i wish i was there with you than here freezing my fingers, writing you a letter that you won't get to read anyway.

when i told them that i wanted to go home earlier, they all said that it's probably because i miss you. i wanted to protest, i wanted to tell them that i wanted to go home not just because i miss you. i wanted to tell them that i am unhappy in this house, that most things turned out to be disappointing, that i'm tired of putting up a happy front. that the reason why i stay up till five in the morning isn't really jetlag, but because i feel most comfortable when i'm alone.

while you're there finding God in Miarayon, i'm here finding out that family does not always mean ohana. lilo said that ohana means nobody gets left behind. but the truth of the matter is that we all move on, and being family does not guarantee that you won't get left behind. i'm realizing, in a very ironic way, that all we really have is ourselves.

but then i have you. and i know that when you say something, you will keep your word. you really are a gift, you know? because just when i was losing faith in people, i remember you. just when i was about to put my guards up, i remember you. recent disappointments pushed me to think twice about trusting other people's words, but then you (and aisa, while chatting in YM) remind me of the beauty of trusting, of taking risks.

you are my favorite risk. and i can say for certain that you are the most beautiful thing in my life. do not ever go.

home

it's official. i'll be taking the 8pm flight out of San Francisco on the 15th. :) yay.

my kuya louie brought my titas and tito to Reno today. i hope they had fun. kuya JR had an accident while playing basketball. his back hurts bad and his neck is stiff. mom and i went downtown and did some shopping. it was damn windy, my nose was freezing. too bad i only brought a light jacket and wore flipflops. my nose is still cold and my brain is thawing by the way.

.

the pope died today. made the stupid assumption that he died lastnight because i was listening to the news half-asleep. i'm sorry.

i was in Hong Kong when Princess Diana died. Here in Pinole when Rico Yan died. Now that i'm back here, the Pope John Paul II died. hmmn. wala lang.

happy

it's april fool's. incidentally, it's our 9th month together. we don't usually count, and this is one of the few times i remembered. for what it's worth, happy 9th labidabs.

shopping day

pangit gising ko kaninang umaga. mainly because i didn't want to get up just yet. as usual mga alas-kuatro na ako natulog at mashado pang maaga ang 10am para gumising.

pumunta kami sa downtown, shempre pa sa walang kamatayang old navy. pagkatapos namin don, naisip ko na kung ano talaga ang gusto kong trabaho. personal shopper! e pano ba naman, halos lahat yata ng bilhin ng mga tita ko eh ako ang pinapapili. kung di naman, ako ang maghahanap. masarap din mamili, lalo na kung di ikaw ang magbabayad.

dapat punta kaming waterworld bukas nila dad. pero di na lang kami sama ni kuya kasi me sakit si mom (yung gums niya dahil sa pustiso, hehe), kaya ipagda-drive namin siya bukas. pero oks lang kasi sarado rin naman pala yung waterworld kaya ganun din.

.

i've decided to come home with them on the 15th. in a fit of depression kanina, i was crying over not being able to see NY and Wicked. see, i've been really looking forward to it since last year. i've told people i was gonna see it. hell, i didn't feel disappointed na di ako tuloy sa euro tour kasi wicked naman kapalit. pero wala rin. my brother suggested that we just go to Vegas instead, ate love suggested we watch cirque de soleil or maybe even we will rock you. and i appreciate the gesture, i really do. but Vegas won't really make up for NY. however fantabulous it may be.

i'm not mad or inis or nagtatampo sa kuya ko, kahit na ang tagal tagal ko nang sinabi yun sa kanya. tagal tagal ko na ring sinabing bili na siya ng ticket or at least pareserve na. i totally understand their situation (my sister-in-law is 6 months on the way) at wala akong reklamo don. sana lang sinabi na sakin from the start na baka by the time i get here, di siya na okay mag-travel and all that. then maybe i could have fixed things by myself, i could have gotten tickets myself, i could've booked a flight myself. i could've found someone, anyone, who would go with me. sana he told me earlier para sana hindi na ako umasa. i could have at least tried to look for other stuff to look forward to.

hindi ako nagtatampo, hindi lalo ako galit. i guess what i'm saying is that although i understand, i can't help but feel disappointed. aside from my family, that is what i came here for. that's what i wanted out of this summer. my first broadway show. but i guess i would have to wait. sad lang cos by the time i get to go to new york, wala ng wicked.

so there, uwi na lang ako ng maaga. beach na lang. bili na lang siguro ako ng digicam. kahit ano. pagdasal niyo na sana kasya pa ako sa flight pauwi ng pinas sa 15.

san francisco, closer.

i watched mike nichols' closer for the second time around 2am this morning, and i'm twice smitten. i haven't seen any movie as real as this one. i can't really describe it, you have to go and watch it for you to appreciate it. it's not for everyone though. basta, it has the realest dialogues ever. i cringe and tear hearing them because they are awfully honest, awfully familiar.

i love movies like this, when you really get to know the character and no matter how wicked or immoral their actions maybe, you can't really seem to hate them because you sort of understand why. you sort of have this familiarity with his character that you can only grieve with him in his misery, even if he brought it upon him.

...

went to downtown san francisco today. explored market street by myself for about an hour and a half. my brother left work early to meet me, he bought me a shirt and i got him some pepperoni pizza. :)

we went to my tito jun's house later on for dinner where i ate about a quarter of the strawberry pie they served. and yes, they let me take home the leftover. i practically ate half of it. haha.

...

for those wondering what this blog is for, it's purpose is mainly to "document" my stay here. so most, but not all entries, are about how my day went and stuff like that. for more sensible (if you may call them that) entries, go to my tabulas page.

the god of small (minds)

pardon me arundhati roy, for i cannot find a title more apt for this post. i promise to read your book before summer ends. this post may come off a tad too self-righteous for some, so if you don't have time for rants based on reason, then stop reading.

i've been here in pinole four days. it's actually fun to have lots of people around you, but sometimes their narrowmindedness (or so i deem it) gets to me.
...

while talking about the my brother's bed sheet and his suggestion to my tita to buy one for my cousin:

tita O: mabait kasi ang kuya JR mo eh no, iniisip niya kung anong magugustuhan ng kuya georex mo. ang kuya louie mo kasi nag-asawa ng maaga.

cathy: ha?

tita O: kasi ngayon ang focus na niya yung pamilya niya...

argh. nawindang ako. i had to defend my brother, tell her that that's what makes him happy, and it's just natural that he go for it. hindi naman siya nagkukulang sa mga responsibilities niya, wala naman siyang inaapakang tao.

it just pissed me off that she sort of implied that just because my eldest brother does not have as much time for them as my kuya jr, hindi na siya mabait. and that this is because he married early. so is kindness now based on what age you get married? argh.

i remember the movie mona lisa smile. the character played by julia stiles chose to get married than to pursue further studies. julia roberts thought she was selling herself short but then stiles told her that she only followed what her heart told her.

some people think that settling down at an early age is a sign of weakness. some even frown upon it, thinking that these kids (or so they want to think of them) don't really know what they're doing. i guess they base this from the fact that a lot of people in their early twenties don't know what to do in their life yet.

but what if you do know what you want? what if you're certain that this is what you want out of life? isn't knowing at an early age a good thing? i'd like to think that it is so. some people way past their 30s don't have a clue as to where they're going, and i think that is more alarming.
hay, i think i put too much thought on this simple conversation. i bet she didn't even mean it the way i took it. or maybe she did, but knowing her, i need not make a big deal out of it. we are simply coming from two very different intellectual backgrounds (yes, i'm self-righteous. throw stones at me :p).

i think that the best thing i got out of philo is to be more open-minded about things. that we see, understand, and judge things differently. that what might be gray to me can be white for some. and that i should not call my tita smallminded because it might be true that in her world, things are so defined that there is no room for gray areas. that i should just let this slide because i know that no matter how i explain about this, she wouldn't understand.

in ariel's under water world, a pipe is a snarfblat, a corkscrew is a thingamabob. a fork is used to comb the hair. you can't just tell her she's mistaken and that all of the things that she knows are incorrect because for her, a snarfblat is a snarfblat. if you ask her for a pipe, she wouldn't understand that you were asking for her snarfblat. and you can't really blame her, because this is how she grew to know and understand things.

so what's the point really? i guess i just wanted to rant. i've been heraring so many hirits that make my eyes roll, and unlike my kuyas, im very impatient with these things. i just needed to remind myself to just keep my mouth shut and my eyes straight, if only because of respect.
...

just because i was half laughing and half rolling my eyes when i heard this comment my tito made while watching tomb raider:

tita T: yan pala si angelina jolie, maganda nga.

tito B: maganda nga, pero hindi siya bagay sa action.

tita T: bakit mo naman nasabi?

tito B: dapat kasi pag ganyang pelikula yung mukhang chinese ang artista.

haruu. spell s-t-e-r-e-o-t-y-p-i-c-a-l with me. buti pa sana kung tama yung stereotype na ginamit. hay. madami pa, pero i choose to just foggedabhoudit.